Thursday Thoughts - Emptying the cup

A university professor went to visit a famous Zen master in Kyoto, in search of knowledge. 
While the monk served tea, the professor commented exercises, analysed writing, interpreted stories and traditions, and deliberated on the ancient processes of meditation. 
He did everything to impress his host, in the hopes that he might be accepted as a disciple. 
As he spoke, the monk continued to fill his cup, until it overflowed and the tea began to flow across the whole table.  
The professor remarked - What are you doing? Can't you see the cup is full, and that nothing more will fit in it?
Your soul is like this cup - replied the master - How can I teach you the true art of Zen Buddhism, if it is already filled with theories?
                                                                      ~ from The Warrior of the Light Volume 3, Paulo Coelho 


Today I went for three interviews with recruitment agencies. And as I sat through each one, I reflected on all that I had learned, experienced and achieved.

One of the questions I got asked was ... if I rate you as 7/10 what would you do to get to 10/10? I gave him a pretty good answer but pondered on it almost all afternoon.

And then as today is a Thursday Thought day, I searched my "Warrior of the Light" book and came across the story above. Just what I needed. A confirmation of my answer to that recruitment agent.

At the end of every project I deliver or at the conclusion of each job I have to "empty my cup" and start again because each situation is different, each job / project presents different challenges and provides new knowledge. What works for one project may be the wrong way for another. Being prepared to re-learn, re-start, going back to zero, is how I move forward though on the surface it might look like "emptying the cup" moves you backwards. I'm not sure that the recruitment agent actually got that.

I have discovered that I have grown or discovered a new ability when I have been prepared to "empty my cup" - learn, change direction, re-start. This of course does not mean that I throw away all that I've learned it just means I am open to another way of looking at things or considering an alternative or relearning / enhancing a skill.

And it's quite refreshing to "empty the cup".

Enjoy your day.

Warm Regards

Thursday Thoughts - Choice

On some nights, he has nowhere to sleep, on others he suffers from insomnia.
"That's just how it is," thinks the warrior. "I was the one who chose to walk this path".
                                                                   ~ The Warrior of the Light, Paulo Coelho


This is a very apt quote for me to analyse, digest and then accept today.

Sometimes people take advantage of the help and empathy you offer and betray your trust.

Today was a day for that and I was angry. And then as I searched for a Thursday Thought, I came across the above quote.

I had the choice to not extend the help, empathise or trust but I did. I realise now that although helping someone appears to be the "good" thing to do, sometimes not helping is the good thing to do. Empathise, but not constantly and be careful when you trust someone.

I brought this on myself with the choices I made. Something to remember for the future.

Thursday Thoughts - Blessings in Disguise

Many years ago when I was in school, someone tore strips off me for something I was supposed to have done.

A close friend of hers apparently told a story about me which she believed because of course it was her friend who had told it.

She never gave me a chance to tell my side of the story and I was too timid to fight back and frankly I was also quite taken aback with her behaviour.

It hurt me deeply as I had a great admiration and respect for this person. I also believe that I lost a position of responsibility because of that incident. Needless to say I never respected her again and it took many many years to forgive her.

But years later as a manager I found myself in a situation with two of my staff. My mind went zooming back to that day in school.

That incident reminded me that there are always two sides to a story and as a manager it was my duty and it was only fair to hear them both.

The details of the situation are not important. But I will say that all 3 of us dealt with it in a respectful and sensible way.

It is possible that if my incident in school had not occurred, I may have dealt with the situation differently and perhaps not as effectively.

Sometimes incidents in our life are sent to us because they are meant to teach us and prepare us for situations in our life that are yet to come.

These are our blessings in disguise. Painful at that time but necessary to make us better human beings in the future.

Thursday Thoughts - Behave like water

The Warrior of the Light sometimes behaves like water, flowing around the obstacles he encounters.
Occasionally, resistance might mean destruction, and so he adapts to the circumstances. 
He accepts, without complaint, that stones in his path hinder his way through the mountains.
The river adapts itself to whatever route proves possible, but the river never forgets its one objective, the sea.
So fragile at its source, it gradually gathers the strength of the other rivers it encounters.
And after a certain point, it's power is absolute.
                                                                                                ~The Warrior of the Light, Paulo Coelho




I was a strong believer in permanent jobs, perhaps this was more out of fear of losing a job than belief.

I never ever considered contracting as it was too temporary and I guess the hassle of constant interviewing somehow didn't appeal.

Then redundancy hit me and it made me take a long hard look at myself and my beliefs.

I turned down 2 offers because they were contracts and I was too afraid to take that first step from permanent to contract.
But the only jobs available were contract positions and finally I was pretty much forced into taking up a contract.

I now realise that my misconceived beliefs or in other words my resistance to contracting was limiting the many possibilities and opportunities that were available.

Adapting to the circumstances has liberated me and the job market for me has grown hugely.

Behave like water, adapt and be flexible.

Thursday Thoughts - Act According to the Situation

The Warrior of the Light has dreams. 
His dreams carry him forward, but he never makes the mistake of thinking that the way is broad and the gate wide.
He knows that the Universe functions in the same way as alchemy.
Solve et coagula - Concentrate and disperse your energies according to the situation.
There are moments when one should act and moments when one should accept.
The Warrior knows how to distinguish between these moments.
                                                                                              ~The Warrior of the Light, Paulo Coelho


There are situations in our lives when we have the choice to walk away or fight.

We cannot fight every battle so over the years we learn to discern which ones we will concede and which ones we will pursue.

But how do we know what to choose?

There are a few techniques I use to make my choice:

• Sometimes I know just by gut feel or by using my intuition. It's a very wise source and more often than not it's the right answer
• I ask myself if losing this battle would be a problem. If the answer is no, then this a battle I can walk away from
• I ask myself if I need to win this battle, if the answer is yes, then this is a battle I can consider fighting.

The same techniques can be used in situations where you need to act or accept.

These are not foolproof techniques but they are pretty good guidelines.

Fight the battles you need and want to win. Act when the outcome will benefit you or others.

Thursday Thoughts - Experiences Strengthen

A Warrior cannot bow his head, for if he did he would lose sight of the horizon of his dreams.
He accepts that his opponents are there to test his valour, his persistence, and his ability to make decisions. They force him to fight for his dreams.
It is the experience of battle that strengthens the Warrior of the Light
                                                                                             ~ The Warrior of the Light, Paulo Coelho


Each one of us has a major destiny to fulfill - this I call my life's work and along the way we have destiny points, like stepping stones, that lead us to that major destiny.

Those destiny points along the way are markers that prepare us for our life's work.

Some of them are easily reached and conquered and some present us with the severest test that require us to think inside and outside the square, to use the width and breadth of our knowledge, to try new avenues.

Each of these events are necessary to fulfill our major destiny. When someone tries to derail us from our track, we find a way to stay on that path, to step on that stone. And our invisible helper and constant companion, the Universe, quietly leads us on.

All our experiences define us, and the difficult ones also strengthen us.


Footnote:
This is a nice "companion" to my post   How do you find the strength to take the difficult path

Thursday Thoughts - The Three Things You Can Rely On

A Warrior of the Light knows his own faults. But he also knows his qualities.
He knows that the gazelle's power lies in its strong legs. The power of the seagull lies in its accuracy to spear a fish. He has learned that the tiger does not fear the hyena because he is aware of his own strength.
He tries to establish what he can truly rely on. And he always checks that he carries three things with him faith, hope and love.
If these three things are there, he does not hesitate to go forward.
                                                                                                         ~ Warrior of the Light  Paulo Coelho



Hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.  Always live in hope even if at the time there doesn't seem to be any. Hope fosters a positive attitude to any situation.

Faith is the belief that is not based on proof. Faith is knowing that what you hope for and ask for will occur without a shadow of doubt.

Love in this context is the emotion of human kindness and compassion. That also means towards yourself.

Over the years through life experiences I have learned that not only can we not do it all on our own, but that the key to success is to

• identify and acknowledge our limitations and then find those that complement us
• know our strengths and use them well

When I live in hope, I approach life with a positive attitude. And having identified and acknowledged my strengths and weaknesses, I can move forward with the faith that success is certain.

This however does not mean that the path to success and the fulfillment of my dreams is easy.

I have found that whenever I am in a situation that tests my patience and tolerance, if I am able to treat myself and the situation with love (as in kindness in this context), I can usually deal with it a whole lot better as it keeps me calm and avoids anger. And when I am calm, I can think better.

Hope, faith and love are pathways to happiness. And when we're happy, we enjoy life.

Thursday Thoughts - Some Moments Repeat Themselves

A Warrior of the Light knows that certain moments repeat themselves. 

I've been through this before, he says to his heart.

But you have never been beyond it, replies his heart.

Then the Warrior realizes that these repeated experiences have but one aim: to teach him what he does not want to learn.

I truly believe that life provides you with the same experiences until the lesson is learned or until you have been beyond it (as per the quote above).

I have battled with my weight ever since I can remember. I am not overly overweight, and I am actually healthy and fit, but I always felt that if I lost some weight, I would look and feel better

Unfortunately that path of thinking leads to disappointment, frustration, guilt and it robs me of the enjoyment of things.

Looking back over the years and my journey with the weight thing, I find that as soon as I get to a point where I really start to feel like I'm winning this battle, something comes along to sabotage my efforts and send me back a few steps.

So perhaps I am meant to remain the size I am and perhaps because I remain that size I am motivated to continue with my exercise routine, which allows me to remain fit and in good health.

So now I walk, go to the gym, zumba and karate, no longer with the motive of losing weight and looking fabulous but with the sheer enjoyment of doing what I find exhilarating and to keep myself healthy and fit. The weight loss is a bonus. If it happens great, if it doesn't, I still feel good.

I am now beyond it.


Check out my other post on the same topic:  The Lesson Must Be Learned

Thursday Thoughts - The Warrior of the Light is Grateful

Paulo Coelho is one of my favourite authors and his "Warrior of the Light: A Manual" is one of my favourite books.

Whenever I am need of inspiration, motivation or comfort, I find a passage from this book that moves me along on my journey through life.

     In my Thursday Thoughts posts, I will quote some texts from the
     book and my thoughts on it.




Lately there have been many posts and tweets on gratitude so I think this one is perfect for this week's post.


A Warrior of the Light knows that he has much to be grateful for.  
Angels help him in his struggle, celestial forces place each thing in its place, 
thus allowing him to give it his best. 
His gratitude, however, is not limited to the spiritual world; he never forgets his friends.
A Warrior does not need to be reminded of the help given him by others. 
He is the first to remember.


I know that there have been so many events in my life that have been Divinely guided.  And I am most aware of that in my working life.

I describe my projects as a jigsaw puzzles and as I progress through them, the pieces start to fall into place. I have often stood at crossroads and wondered what step to take to lead my team forward. A solution will suddenly appear. I get handed the next piece in the jigsaw that I need. Sometimes, my team will provide the answer sometimes I find it myself with a sudden thought in my head.

In other aspects of my life too, I know that Divine forces help me along my path.

Some years ago I was returning home from work and came to a busy crossing.  I was deep in thought and blindly following the crowd. I was about to step onto the road when suddenly behind me I heard someone say "We should stop there are many cars coming". It jolted me out of my reverie and stopped me just in time. Had I not, I would have probably been hit by the car that came zooming down the road.

There are so many other incidents in my life where the Universe has quietly come to my rescue or nudged me on my path. Paulo Coelho's tweet "I may not recognize God's hand each day, but I know it's there " describes this best.

I am extremely grateful for the support and help of my Spiritual helpers, my co-workers, my wonderful family and friends.  My Paint Write and be Grateful series helps me feel the gratitude every day of my life. And so before I sleep each night I give thanks to all.


My gratitude posts

     
     May post
 
     June post





Links:  Paulo Coelho

Adversity is a catalyst

Adversity strikes suddenly. How we react to it is entirely upto us.

I have been single for the last three years after a 28 year relationship ended. I have had two health scares (luckily turned out to be non events in the end) and I have been made redundant thrice. I have lost people so dear to my heart via death as recently as a year ago. And again I find myself in-between jobs. It's not an easy time in my life.



I would love to have the job of my dreams, financial freedom, abundance in all aspects of my life, and a soulmate to love, cherish and share life with.

I have read an endless list of books, blogs, articles, tweets, FB posts, listened to lectures, vlogs, all conveying the message that the Universe will provide, that we should have the faith, focus on the positive, set the intention etc. After all we attract into our lives what our thoughts focus on.

I know that all of these are true and I am grateful and give thanks that these wonderful people have shared their stories, wisdom and successes with us. A lot of what I have learned and practise is through their works. But in reality we simply cannot sustain the positive frame of mind constantly.

I keep my spirits high and I try to look on the bright side of life. I know the Universe has a plan and I must wait patiently but there are days when I go through intense fear, loneliness and sadness and there are other days when the hope comes shining through only to be dashed again.

So how do I cope?

I allow myself to feel the sadness, loneliness, fear, and sometimes even anger. I know that only when I allow myself to feel, can I heal. I tell myself that it's okay to feel afraid, sad, abandoned, lonely, and angry. Because eventually I know I will move into a happier and positive space.

So how do I move into the happier and positive space?

I take action.

Adversity is a catalyst for action. Often one you never dreamed you would do.

The action I take is not necessarily big. Sometimes doing nothing or inaction is also action. There are days when looking for a job becomes too stressful so on those days I just take a break and do nothing about the job search. Instead I send a prayer to the Universe for help and then I just blob - with a book, TV, blogs whatever I feel like on that day.

The point I make here is that it is okay for me to feel low as long as I take action to move out of it. And when I am inspired to do something I urge myself to - Just do it.

This blog is one of those actions - a just do it and something I never dreamed I would do. Writing helps me project what I feel. It helps me detach temporarily from the situation and provide some breathing space. Then I can deal with the situation a whole lot better.

I was Divinely inspired and led to start this blog. I have been blogging for just over a year via a private blog. I was guided to write a public blog. And it's scary. Sharing your words with people you know is entirely different to sharing with the wide world. I don't know why or where it will lead. All I know is that I must "Just do it" even if I feel the fear. And that if even one person is helped by what I write, I will have made a difference.

So I will trust the Universe that it knows what I must do and I will write as I am guided by it.

I hope it will bring inspiration and comfort to those who need it.

Love and hugs,
Suzy.