Tuesday, January 15, 2013

UBC Day 15 - Disappointments are part of life

Day 15 of the Ultimate Blogging Challenge.

My son's school certificate results came out today. He passed really well and cleared the minimum score required for a guaranteed spot in most University progammes, but unfortunately is just 8 credits short of a guaranteed place in his chosen programme - a difficult programme to get into as it requires a higher than the normal score.  He is so disappointed. And seeing him so down, I am simply not motivated to write anything so this post may not turn out very sensible today.

We have to wait a little bit longer for them to confirm his place as he has been wait listed.

He really worked so hard. One of his teachers told him he wouldn't pass her subject - he not only passed, he actually got a merit pass. The system has some internal assessment and some external. He didn't achieve the internal assessment and I am sure that if it had been externally assessed he would've passed and got his guaranteed spot at Uni. Life is sometimes unfair, but that's life. And yet he's had other teachers that have motivated him, encouraged him and help him achieve well. I thank those teachers for their help in giving my son a good chance to get into University.

I tried to take a philosophical view of his disappointment. What was the point of upsetting him further.

Disappointments are part of life. At some point in life you come face to face with them.

I tried to find the lesson in this:

  • For me it was to keep calm and accept the situation without anger, motivate him to move on, to guide him to look at other options or ways to convince them to give him a place in the programme, and most important of all, to let him know he is loved no matter what.
  • For him - a chance to experience the fact that not all things in life go the way we plan, that we need to accept the things we cannot change, but that there is always a solution to a problem.
My father used to say to me - the disappointments and difficult moments of our life define us and it is in times like these that we show our true strength of character. 

Perhaps destiny is leading him down another part - one that will be better for him. Whatever be his path, I will help him through it. Wherever he is led, I know will be good for him.

The Serenity Prayer is perfect for today.

God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; 
Enjoying one moment at a time; 
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it; 

Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life 
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Praying hard for my son. That his wait-listed status soon turns into a confirmed place or that another better path opens up for him. Please pray for him. Thanks.

Have a serene day.

Warm Regards


  1. Great Post. Disappointments are a part of life and we need to have some disappointments in order to grow and be stronger. My husband is going through the same thing with our son in hockey, and although I hate to see my son disappointed as well, I know it can only make him stronger.
    Thank you.

    1. Cheryl, you are so right that we need some to grow stronger. I hope your son gets a place on the team. Thanks so much for visiting.

  2. I'm sorry to hear of his and your disappointment, Suzy, but I'm certain everything will work out for good. ♥

    1. Thanks Corinne. I too have faith it will be all right. Thank so much for the encouragement. I hope I'll be posting a happy post soon.

  3. We are constantly learning. We are faced with disappointments to help us grow. When it seems we are getting into the same issues and face the same problems over and over, it simply means we have not yet learned the lesson we need to understand and master.

    It is a wonderful accomplishment to earn a Merit Pass in a course when the teacher said failure is eminent!

    At times it is tough to do, but always try to enjoy the journey.

    Be Well.

    1. Thanks Paul. Yes, I'm so proud of him. He told me he was going to prove her wrong and he did. And so true, "the lesson must be learned". Thanks for visiting.

  4. Frustrating...and poignant, as we all have disappointments in life and they are never easy to handle...I hope your son gets in and it appears that he is learning the process of facing disappointments and keeping it all together.

    Best, Gretchen

    1. Thanks Gretchen. We are praying hard. I know that whatever the outcome, it will be the best one for him. So proud of him, he is handling this so well. Thanks for visiting.

  5. I am praying for him right now. It is tough, I know, when we place so much emphasis on things when we are young. In ten years, your son probably won't remember this disappointment all that much. It will only be a memory!

    1. Thanks Ruth. You are so right, this will just be a little blip on the radar. Thanks for visiting and for your prayers.

  6. Oh, I'm sure that is heartbreaking for him; thank goodness he has you around to help him keep things in perspective. As you point out, disappointment is a part of life, and one we must all learn to cope with, so there is a lesson for him regardless of the outcome. However, I am a firm believer that things always--always--work out the way they should. I hope that he gets his spot in the program of his choice, but I am confident he will end up where he is meant to be. Good luck to him.

    1. Thanks so much Cheri for you encouraging words and wishes. You are so right, in the larger scheme of things, it always works out.

  7. I have always found it unfair to base a child's whole schooling on the results of the final exams. In South Africa you can ask for a rewrite or a remark if you feel you should have done better. Keep saying the serenity prayer - it is very powerful and will bring final acceptance to the outcome. Your son has a future path in life - it will show up most unexpectedly - believe that and keep encouraging him xxx

    1. Thanks Sara. You are so right, testing children and assessing their capability just on that is so unfair. Thanks for your very kind words of encouragement.

  8. Thanks Everyone, for your kind words, encouragement, good wishes and prayers. My son got confirmed into his chosen programme. So happy, so relieved.


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