For I Have Talked With God

Alejandro, Juan and I were the best of friends since childhood. Juan was handsome and full of life, perhaps a little reckless, romantic and charming. Alejandro also handsome and strong, but quiet and calm, the one you could always depend on and turn to when you needed something. But I always loved Juan and when he told me he loved me and we married, I felt that I could reach the stars.

But with great happiness, sometimes there also comes great sorrow and last week was the worst week of my life. Juan was killed in an accident and my world fell apart.  Alejandro tried hard to comfort me, but the pain in my heart was unexplainable and unimaginable. Alejandro's words fell on my deaf ears and my tears would not stop flowing.

In times like these I seek solace with Lita (Grandmother) Maria. She is actually my great grandmother and adored by all of us. When we were very young we thought she was magical for she told us stories of ancient times, of mystical visions and love. Lita Maria always had this amazing countenance. It was like her light shone through for miles and across lifetimes.

In the darkness Lita Maria lit a candle while I sat at her feet, my head in her lap and she gently stroked my long black hair. I sobbed and asked, Why, Why over and over again. Lita Maria was silent but her hands were comforting and slowly my sobs ceased. Then Lita Maria told me the most beautiful story I have ever heard.

Many years ago in ancient Mexico near the city of Teotihuacan, lived Citlali. Tonauac thought she was the most beautiful girl in the whole world and as they grew up, his heart filled with love for her. Tonauac was calm and quiet, kind and caring. But he was also strong and dependable. He was a beautiful man and the girls whispered that they could see his light shine through.

And then there was Uetzcayotl. He was sweet, funny and clever, he would sing and dance and his eyes twinkled.  He was romantic and happy. He had a zest for life and the girls adored him. Citlali, Tonauac and Uetzcayotl were the best of friends and in their little community, the wise elders always said they were inseparable souls come to Earth for a common purpose.

The three friends were always together and as time went on, Citlali and Uetzcayotl grew closer and fell in love. Uetzcayotl, the romantic would bring her flowers and sing to her. Citlali would giggle and pretend she didn't love him. You don't love me like Tonauac does Uetzcayotl, she would tease.

Uetscayotl would pretend to be very hurt and then he would sing ...

        Mujer, si puedes tu con Dios hablar      Woman, if you can talk with God

        Pregúntale si yo alguna vez                   Ask Him if I have ever once 

        te he dejado de adorar                            Ceased to adore you

        Y al mar, espejo de mi corazón              And the sea, mirror of my heart

         Las veces que me ha visto llorar           Those times it saw me shed tears at

         La perfidia de tu amor                           The betrayal of your love

Citlali and Uetzcayotl eventually married and had two beautiful boys who were the pride and joy of Uetzcayotl. Life was beautiful and love was strong. 

Citlali and Uetzcayotl often sat under the stars and he would sing to her. One starry night Uetzcayotl said to Citlali, remember when I am gone from this Earth, that I will always be with you and that somehow I will return. Citlali was bewildered. How will I know you she whispered. When the cool wind blows, you will hear my song. You will know me when I hold your hand and when you look into my eyes you will see my soul. Then Citlali you will know that I am here with you. Citlali thought her Uetzcaytl was so romantic and she thought that the two of them would live together forever.

Then the war broke out. The young men gathered to go. Dread filled Citlali's heart as Uetzcayotl silently gathered up his weapons.  Uetzcayotl sensed her distress but strangely instead of comforting and reassuring Citali, he filled it with even more fear and sadness. Remember my words Citlali he said as he looked into her eyes. Then he held her close and kissed her, embraced his boys and walked out into the night.

Tia Nelli was a kind loving woman with a unique gift. The natives whispered that she could speak with God. Citlali had to know about Uetzcayotl for her heart would not rest in peace until she did. She ran for miles to reach Tia Nelli's hut and eagerly awaited her answer. The one who truly adores you will come back to you Citlali she said. Citlali's joy knew no bounds. She waited for the day Uetzcayotl would return with the other men. But Uetzcayotl did not return. 

Tonauac felt Citlali's heartbreak and wished he could help her. But Citlali's heart was filled with so much sorrow that the very breath within her struggled to stay alive. She immersed herself in her young boys and wished death would come to her. Without Uetzcayotl life held no meaning for her. Tia Nelli had been so wrong for Uetzcayotl had not returned and she definitely could not speak with God. No one can speak with God thought Citlali sadly. 

Tonauac looked up at the stars and wondered where Uetzcayotl was. He missed his friend and he was unable to see Citlali suffer so. In the solitude and silence Tonauac felt a cool breeze, he thought he could feel his friend beside him. He thought he heard the words, Sing Tonauac, sing for you have adored Citlali more than I have. Whisper the words you hear to the wind. Sing Tonauac for we are one soul and my song is your song. Sing and soothe Citlali's soul for I was born to leave her and you were born to heal her and together we were born to show her what love means. 

Citlali felt a cool breeze tickle her cheek. Her mind was restless filled with thoughts of Uetzcayotl. She watched her boys sleeping soundly. Then her feet took her outside under a star filled night sky. And as she looked up towards the heavens she prayed one last time. Dear God, I ask that You send with haste, the one who truly adores me for You have promised that he will come. Waiting for Uetzcayotl Citlali stood in silence, her eyes closed, feeling the cool breeze around her and then she heard the strains of a song drift by. 

     Mujer, si puedes tu con Dios hablar      Woman, if you can talk with God
     Pregúntale si yo alguna vez                   Ask Him if I have ever once 
     te he dejado de adorar                            Ceased to adore you

Uetzcayotl she whispered as she ran towards the song. There in the distance she saw a man. Uetzcayotl she called only to find Tonauac turn towards her. 

Tonauac was the perfect father for her boys and he was a good man. He adored and loved her so much. Whenever Citlali looked into his eyes she saw Uetzcayotl look back at her and when Tonauac took her hand she knew that Uetzcayotl was by her side. 

Many years went by. Her boys were growing up. Citlali was content. She looked back to the days when life had been joyful with Uetzcayotl but the memories of that life were slowly fading. She sensed Tonauac was watching her and she turned to look at him and smiled. Then she stood up and took his hands in hers and looked into his eyes. For the first time she saw Tonauac look back at her and she saw into the depths of the soul that truly adored her. Tonauac, she whispered, I have grown to love you and I know that you have never ceased to adore me for I have talked with God.


Lita Maria smiled as she finished the story. You know Rosa, she said, I was that young Citlali and my Tonauac loved me more than life itself. When one door closes Rosa, the Lord always opens another one but sometimes we choose not to see that door. And in the darkness Rosa, someone lights a candle that ignites your soul again and life goes on.

Lita Maria is a very wise lady and her words always comfort and soothe me.


Teotihuacan - City of the Gods
Citlali - means star
Tonauac - means the one who possesses light
Uetzcayotl - means the essence of light
Nelli - means truth


Mujer, si puedes tu con Dios hablar ... 

Youtube - Perfidia by Andrea Bocelli


Parts of this story came to me in my dreams and the rest was triggered by the song when it went around in my head -  When a song goes around


Written for: Wordy Wednesday at Blog-A-Rhythm
Linking to:  Write Tribe Pro Blogger Challenge


Warm Regards


Tweet

Follow me on
My facebook page Suzy's Ilation
Bloglovin
Pinterest Suzy Que
Google+ Suzy Que