Monday, August 24, 2015

Tension is Treacherous

Tension is treacherous. It has this uncanny knack of creating havoc within our minds and bodies and its primary function is to create unnecessary panic. And yet we love taking on tension and are so reluctant to let it go.

So what is the cause of tension? In my view the primary causes of tension are fear of failure, fear of the unknown (thinking the worst) and perfectionism.

This morning my son was in a state of panic as he was far from completing an assignment due in tomorrow. He's a perfectionist and a deep thinker. Assignments must be perfect and anything less than an A is just not good enough. What if I can't complete, what if I fail were words that made his head droop and the worry lines appear on his forehead. I can totally relate to that as I was the same when I was his age and watching him tense up made me a little tense too.

So I sent him on his way with some words of encouragement -

  • focus on the task at hand not at what may or may not be
  • focus on completing not on perfection
  • focus on the mandatory requirements not all requirements
  • keep working as stopping is guaranteed failure but persevering gives you a chance to succeed 
  • what will be will be - if you fail, there's always the next assignment or next year and failure teaches many valuable lessons
  • there is no person in the world who has never failed, let go of failure fear as it only holds you back and creates panic and panic inhibits the ability to think clearly

and most important of all
  • have faith in yourself 

And that somehow eased my tension too. 

I love this quote as I believe that failure at some points in our lives is certain, but it need not hold us back:

Success is falling nine times and getting up ten.
~ Jon Bon Jovi

Today I am co-hosting the Write Tribe #MondayMusings with Corinne who blogs at Everyday Gyaan. Join us by writing a post on a subject of your choice . Add the hashtag #MondayMusings to your post and link it to the linky below. Make it as personal as possible and do visit other blogs that are linked here.

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I am also linking to #MicroblogMonday at Stirrup Queens


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4 comments:

  1. Sometimes when we give advice to another, we realize how much that applies to our own lives! Great advice!

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  2. You are giving your son some really valuable lessons. He will learn this important thing from you and always shine. Great post and glad to know you are hosting today :)

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  3. Suzy, couldn't agree more with you about the need to get stress out of our way and focus more on the task in hand! I'm having a hard time telling my 11-year-old how to accept failure once in a while, while he aims to compete and stay ahead all the time, so much so that if he does not meet his predefined standards, he gets very upset about things. Glad you wrote about this!

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  4. Really motivating. Definitely useful tips for my son who is usually under stress because of all his deadlines in school. Thanks for sharing.

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