Tension is Treacherous

Tension is treacherous. It has this uncanny knack of creating havoc within our minds and bodies and its primary function is to create unnecessary panic. And yet we love taking on tension and are so reluctant to let it go.

So what is the cause of tension? In my view the primary causes of tension are fear of failure, fear of the unknown (thinking the worst) and perfectionism.

This morning my son was in a state of panic as he was far from completing an assignment due in tomorrow. He's a perfectionist and a deep thinker. Assignments must be perfect and anything less than an A is just not good enough. What if I can't complete, what if I fail were words that made his head droop and the worry lines appear on his forehead. I can totally relate to that as I was the same when I was his age and watching him tense up made me a little tense too.

So I sent him on his way with some words of encouragement -

• focus on the task at hand not at what may or may not be
• focus on completing not on perfection
• focus on the mandatory requirements not all requirements
• keep working as stopping is guaranteed failure but persevering gives you a chance to succeed 
• what will be will be - if you fail, there's always the next assignment or next year and failure teaches many valuable lessons
• there is no person in the world who has never failed, let go of failure fear as it only holds you back and creates panic and panic inhibits the ability to think clearly

and most important of all

• have faith in yourself 

And that somehow eased my tension too. 

I love this quote as I believe that failure at some points in our lives is certain, but it need not hold us back:

Success is falling nine times and getting up ten.

~ Jon Bon Jovi

Today I am co-hosting the Write Tribe #MondayMusings with Corinne who blogs at Everyday Gyaan. Join us by writing a post on a subject of your choice . Add the hashtag #MondayMusings to your post and link it to the linky below. Make it as personal as possible and do visit other blogs that are linked here.

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UBC Day 12 Failure

Day 12  Ultimate Blogging Challenge

Oprah's 10th Question

My Favourite Failure

Alright, now that we've covered the good stuff, let's talk about the biggest, most glorious, crashing-in-flames failure in your life.

Oprah asks the toughest questions. Had to think a lot about this but finally came up with this  ...

There have been several incidents in my working life, where people have verbally abused and insulted me. At those times, I was incredibly hurt and upset and broke down in tears. Thank goodness for some great managers who took the miscreants to task.

But for me these are personal failures and collectively my favourite failure. Why? because after the 5th time that occurred, I did a lot of soul searching and through that it aroused something in me that has now made me stand tall and strong. I feel the power within me to stay Stop.

I'm a firm believer that the Universe presents the situation again and again until the lesson is learned. It was time to show that while I look soft and gentle, I am made of tough stuff and won't let you walk all over me.

Knowing where to draw the line and say enough is enough and taking a stand for myself is a lesson I learned well, albeit the hard way.

image source: google images

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.  In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”  ~  Maya Angelou

May this be your day to shine.


Check out these awesome bloggers who are also taking part in the UBC challenge:
  Shilpa  Kajal  Richa  Jairam  Sheethal  Kathy  Swati  Michelle  Nabanita

My previous UBC Jan 2014 posts here

Oprah's questions roundup: Q1  Q2  Q3  Q4 Q5  Q6  Q7  Q8  Q9


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