Sunday, November 11, 2012

Old post resurrection - Who do you need to forgive?

Thanks Sandra Tyler for giving us an opportunity to resurrect an old post.

This post was part of my Question of the Day series.








So who do I need to forgive?

I thought about this a lot as there are so many instances where people have seemingly committed injustices (small or big) towards me (or so I think) or where an action towards someone else has affected me.

But reality is that what I deem to be an injustice, the other may deem to be a necessity.

So how then does forgiveness work?

I have to take a spiritual perspective on this.

Mother Teresa summed it up well; "In the end it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway".

If we take the wisdom from Mother Teresa then the only person I need to forgive is myself.

This however raises several questions ....

Does this mean that by default I also take responsibility for the actions of others? That seems completely unfair and illogical.

Or does this mean that I only forgive myself for my actions and take no responsibility for others? That unfortunately leaves me with the inability to move on as I am now stuck with an action I cannot forgive.

In the end, my only recourse to forgiving myself for my own misdeeds and for the misdeeds of others was to understand that forgiving does not mean that I overlook or dismiss the action (whether it be mine or someone else's).

To forgive myself for an act I have committed also means that I take responsibility to not repeat that act again.

To forgive myself for an act someone else has committed towards me or for one that was committed towards another but affected me in some way, does not mean I take responsibility for the act, only the responsibility that it affected me in some way. In other words, I forgive myself for being affected. And having forgiven myself, I now have the ability to detach from that incident.

In both instances (my acts and acts of others where I am affected directly or indirectly), I take responsibility to understand that there may be a lesson in it for me and learn the lesson when I identify it. I also take responsibility to understand the reason for the action. I may not agree with the reason, but having understood the reason, I can then let it go.

Have a peaceful day

Warm Regards
Photobucket

16 comments:

  1. Whatever said and done, forgiveness is difficult. I have struggled long and hard by not letting go.

    Thanks for this post.

    Joy always,
    Susan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Susan, yes it is but from my experience (for myself) until I can forgive and let go I find it hard to move on. Forgiveness brings me peace.

      Delete
  2. I often find it within my heart to forgive--but to forget is another matter. I'm happiest to move on.

    Cheers, Jenn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Jenn, I agree that to forget in it's literal sense is hard. But perhaps it just means to not regurgitate what's in the past. At least that's the way I can cope with the "forget" part.

      Delete
  3. I always believe that if we forgive someone, we actually do ourselves a favor. The more we choose not to forgive, the heavier our hearts would feel.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so right Journey of Life. Forgiveness is peaceful.

      Delete
  4. I have a terrible time with forgiving. I hold onto that like old bones, not sure why. Enlightening post. Especially with the mention of Mother Theresa. She is/was certainly worthy of our attention and her lessons. Thanks for hooking up and also for copying the blog hop code. I'd really like to grow this!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Sandra, it took me a long time to let go of things. But I find it a lot easier to forgive and let go now. If one believes in karma then forgiveness comes easier. Thanks for hosting the blog hop. I look forward to the next one.

      Delete
  5. Forgiving is sometimes the easy part. Learning to live with the results are so much harder. I've forgiven but choose not to forget, otherwise it will happen again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Yolanda, there have been instances in my life where I have also forgiven but choose not to forget lest it happen again. I have therefore after a lot of contemplation concluded for myself that "to forget" is not literal but in the sense of not re-visiting the incident and re-litigating it. Thanks for visiting.

      Delete
  6. A very interesting thought Suzy.. I had read somewhere that the way we interpret forgiveness has got to do a lot with what we have seen as a child in the family. They define forgiveness for us just like many other things.

    For me forgiving others comes very easy but forgiving myself is something I am working on constantly!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Me. Forgiving ourselves is by far the hardest thing to do. But when done, it is liberating.

      Delete
  7. That's a great thought Suzy..
    Forgiveness brings peace and salvation..
    Loved the concept of forgiving myself being affected..

    Sometimes forgiving oneself is not the easiest of task..
    some great lessons there.. nice post..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Deepak. Forgiveness on the whole is not an easy thing to do. But you are so right, once done, it brings us peace.

      Delete
  8. Suzy, what a wonderfully written post. I think that part of people's difficulty in forgiving is that they may feel that 'forgiving' means 'condoning'. Just because one forgives another doesn't mean that they agree, or condone, that person's action. To me, it means that I have gotten past their action. I do believe that we will all be responsible for our actions and deeds to God, but I also believe that God expects me to forgive those who do hurtful things to me personally. I also believe that once I have forgiven someone for their deed towards me, for whatever reason that may have been for, I am freed; at peace. I am very thankful for that feeling :)
    Thank you for sharing your link with me! I really enjoyed your post ♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thanks Mary. That is so true that we think that when we forgive we condone that action and that's why it's hard to forgive. My view and yours is the same - forgiving is getting past that action not condoning it.

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Copyright Protection